I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
