We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
