i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
