My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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