weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Of course I have a pirate flag
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
