I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
