dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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