No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
