I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
