i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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