We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
