I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
