Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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