My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Michael Bay diarrhea
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
