remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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