i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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