That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
