I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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