HIV tests are more positive than that guy
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
