the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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