does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
