He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
