return my video game
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Operation Purity has been aborted
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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