I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
