Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
