But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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