now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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