Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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