OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
