Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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