oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
