She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I looked at my own cervix.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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