you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
