i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My breasts were aching with rage.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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