Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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