Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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