At least make sure they are 18
Why
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
