I like my sex mixed with concussions.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
