Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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