Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
