Me too!
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
