so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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