Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
