No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
