After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
