The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
