For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
