You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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