i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he thought i was a dude.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
