Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
