I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
