Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
